last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
