singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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