Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
