She announced her abortion via fbk
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
