OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think I just sharted jello shots
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