I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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