remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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