He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize