ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
