he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We left an ass print on the piano.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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