No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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