Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
