The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize