so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can I color on your dick again?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
