Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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