she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
