i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
