I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
