I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
