So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
