I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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