Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
