I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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