i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
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