She announced her abortion via fbk
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize