he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
