the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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