why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
