Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize