Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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