therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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