I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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