I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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