I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Boobs are out for the taking
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize