YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
