Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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