I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
