when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
