Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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