Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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