Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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