remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
