Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
As shirtless as possible
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
