Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize