everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
