fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
