One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
