Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
