Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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