I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
