I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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