I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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