Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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