toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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