And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
