had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
nutella sex= disaster
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
