my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
