i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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