After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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