too bad you live with your parents still
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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