there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
